Meet Your Biological Grandfather: Family Secret
“Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.”
Meet Your Biological GrandfatherAs I continued to cope with the new knowledge of my biological father (see "Family Secrets: Joined by the Blood”), I moved on to the first of six important conversations I needed to have which began with my daughter.
I thought our talk was going to be devastating for her but looking back, it was by far the easiest I think I’ve ever had with my daughter on any level. Young folks in their twenties are so resilient about some things. They have way more pressing items on their plates. I found that the reality is as long as they have their main support systems, then most other family challenges are not so daunting.
Our talk was as simple as sitting down and my revealing the "family secret” in that I was recently made aware of my biological father, her biological grandfather. I didn’t go into too much more detail except that the grandfather she knows and loves is not tied to her biologically.
There was no crying, screaming, or resentment. Instead, she processed what I told her and was ready to carry on with her internet surfing. If there was suffering, it wasn’t evident.
Support Systems are a Necessity
The takeaway for me and maybe for anyone dealing with the unraveling of family secrets is that the stable disposition that my husband and I provided our child throughout her life made the difference in the result of the conversation about her grandfathers. She suddenly has two of them. One whom she's always known but is not tied biologically and one she just learned about that is joined to her by blood.
I suddenly realized that she’s ok because she has two loving parents which come with it an endless support system. I had nothing to worry about and felt good that I could move on with my plan to meet my biological father for the first time with my family's blessings.
