Alopecia and Relationships - You Can Have Both
“The value is always in the eye of the beholder. What is worthless to one person may be very important to someone else.”
As an adolescent, boyfriends weren't really a priority but as I moved into high school and as my alopecia worsened, I got worried. How do you tell a guy that you suffer hair loss? Will they like you anyway? Do you not say anything unless it comes up? I had boyfriends but the funny thing is I never discussed my hair issues. No one asked and I didn't volunteer. I think maybe in their eyes, the hats and scarves were a sign of a religious attire and some may have thought it was my unique style. Then there were those that I didn't fool at all, it just didn't matter. I found in some instances that the truth was already known after I had agonized over it.
Opening myself up to relationships wasn’t a priority given the hard conversations I would eventually have to have about my alopecia.
Eventually serious relationships happened; however, often times they ended in teenage heartbreak before I ever had to delve into medical stuff. I guess that was was a relief.
A Turning Point
I was prepared to live without true love, married life, kids, etc. It was easier that way. BUT, I kept getting nudged by this guy. He tried to date me when I was a senior in high school but I was too busy plotting my runaway scheme. I didn't have time for relationships. After I settled down into life a little, he started poking at me again. asking me out, feeding me delicious meals and just sort of, well dating me. He sent me a letter and in that letter one of the things he said that I will never forget went something like this:
"I have been admiring you and by-the-way I already know about the hair thing. My brother told me, it's not an issue." ~Reginald Stanfield
Of course the letter was longer but you get the point. As I reflect on that statement, I realize that no matter what you think is horrific, probably really isn't that bad at all.
Alopecia and Relationships CanEndure
It's really true what they say, beauty is in the eye of the beholder and there is room for love in your life.
The moral of this story is that true love has no boundaries. If you give love, you’ll get love in return. You learn as I did that things aren't really as bad as they seem. Love is in the eye of the beholder.
Have you let your physical differences stop you from perusing meaningful relationships? Did you overcome that obstacle?
